Breaking Up and Getting Back Together – Can It Work?
Breaking up and getting back together, can it work? That is a question that a lot of people ask. It is not uncommon to separate with someone and later be sorry for the breakup and try to get back together. The question is, will it work? The answer is, this will depend…
It depends on many factors. Below is a list of some items you have to honestly think about before you get together again with your former mate:
1) Why did you breakup in the first place? If you broke up because of major variations in your outlooks and personalities and found that you were constantly clashing then getting together again would be a bad idea.
Neither of you will find a way to completely alter your personality. Nor should you. If you’re just not compatible that won’t change. It’s time to move on and find somebody you are more in sync with.
2) If the reason you broke up was fairly minor daily problems you have to decide if either of you are willing, and have the ability, to honestly discuss it and make the modifications necessary to make the relationship work. If you consider that the two of you are mature enough to have a truthful discussion of the issues and work on repairing them then you might be able to make it work this time around.
3) Was there infidelity or abuse? For the most part, if either of these elements were present you’re probably better off finding someone new. Most people do not really change to a significant degree. If you or your ex lover is a cheater that routine will more than likely carry on unless extensive therapy is undertaken.
If abuse is the trouble no one should be given a second opportunity to hit or hurt you again. Leave, and don’t look back. Hopefully your ex will get help and have the ability to overcome the problem but that type of treatment is not always successful and could take years – it’s time for you to move on for good.
Breaking apart and getting back together, for the most part, can only be achieved if you and your ex can be totally honest with yourself and each other. It’s not impossible to make alterations but it can be challenging and unless both parties are in complete agreement and are committed to making the positive alterations needed to make the relationship work, it’s probably better to call it quits and move ahead.
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