Break-Up Then Make-Up – Does It Really Ever Work?
Breaking apart and getting together again, can it work? That is a question that a great deal of people today ask. It is not uncommon to break up with someone and later repent the breakup and try to get back together. The question is, will it work? The response is, this will depend…
It depends on many elements. Below is a list of some items you have to honestly consider before you get together again with your ex lover:
1) Why did you split up in the first place? If you split up because of major variations in your outlooks and personalities and found that you were constantly clashing then getting together again would be a bad idea.
Neither of you will find a way to totally alter your persona. Nor should you. If you are just not compatible that won’t change. It is time to move on and find somebody you’re more in sync with.
2) If the reason you separated was fairly minor daily hassles you have to decide if either of you are willing, and have the ability, to honestly discuss it and make the modifications necessary to make the relationship work. If you think that the two of you are grown up enough to have a truthful discussion of the issues and work on fixing them then you might find a way to make it work this time around.
3) Was there cheating or abuse? For the most part, if either of these things were present you’re probably better off finding somebody new. Most people do not really change to a substantial degree. If you or your ex lover is a cheater that routine will more than likely go on unless extensive therapy is undertaken.
If abuse is the trouble no one should be given a second chance to hit or damage you again. Leave, and do not look back. Hopefully your ex will get help and be able to overcome the issue but that type of treatment is not always successful and could take years – it is time for you to move on for good.
Breaking up and getting back together, for the most part, can only be accomplished if you and your ex lover can be totally honest with yourself and each other. It’s not impossible to make alterations but it can be challenging and unless both parties are in complete agreement and are committed to making the positive changes needed to make the relationship work, it is probably better to call it quits and move ahead.
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