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Break-Up Then Make-Up – Does It Really Ever Work?

2012 July 21

Breaking apart and getting together again, can it work? That is a question that a lot of people ask. It is not uncommon to breakup with someone and later regret the breakup and try to reconcile.  The question is, will it work?  The response is, it depends…

This will depend on many elements.  Below is a list of some points you have to honestly think about before you get back together with your ex lover:

1) Why did you split in the first place?  If you separated because of major differences in  your outlooks and personalities and found that you were constantly clashing then getting together again would be a poor idea.

Neither of you will have the ability to totally change your personality.  Nor should you.  If you are just not compatible that won’t change.  It’s time to move on and find someone you are more in sync with.

2) If the reason  you separated was fairly minor daily complications you have to decide if either of you are willing, and have the ability, to honestly talk about it and make the changes necessary to make the relationship work. If you think that the two of you are mature enough to have a truthful discussion of the issues and work on repairing them then you might be able to make it work this time around.

3) Was there infidelity or abuse?  For the most part, if either of these elements were present you’re probably better off finding someone new.  Most people today do not really change to a significant degree. If you or your former mate is a cheater that routine will more than likely keep on unless extensive therapy is undertaken.

If abuse is the issue no one should be given a second opportunity to hit or hurt  you again.  Depart, and do not look back.  Hopefully your ex lover will get help and have the ability to overcome the problem but that type of treatment is not always successful and could take years – it is time for you to move on for good.  

Breaking up and getting together again, for the most part, can only be accomplished  if you and your ex lover can be totally honest with yourself and each other.  It’s not impossible to make modifications but it can be challenging and unless both parties are in agreement and are dedicated to making the positive alterations needed to make the relationship work, it’s probably better to call it quits and move on.

For more general dating advice, there is a man named David Deangelo, who is a well known dating master. If you type in “david deangelo double your dating” “dating david deangelo ebook” or perhaps “david deangelo’s“, you will find his dating ideas and ebooks, as well as whether he is a rip-off or not.  That way you will have all the data you need to work with and you are going to know if you can trust his advice.

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